look at how cute my pumpkin is......here it's getting ready to become.......
a spooky little jack o'lantern! yay!
so it could sit in the window at vernon's and show all the little kiddies where to get their candy....
how cute is that?????
i would like the official hallowe'en record to show that vernon did not assist in the creation of the jack o'lantern that adorned his window last night. oh no. he wouldn't stoop to carving a pumpkin. he's not the carving type apparently. not the carving type? what the hell? who is this man? how can you not have a pumpkin? unless you're some kind of hallowe'en scrooge.... which he just might be..... nah. during his poo-pooing of the pumpkin carving i reminded him that when he has kids he will have to show more enthusiasm. that shut him up. whether it was the idea of actually having to carve a pumpkin or the idea of having kids, either way, he said no more. (oh my god she mentioned kids....step away from the girlfriend....no sudden moves....don't let her smell your fear....).
speaking of poo-pooing....or rather, just speaking of poo.... vernon and i went and looked at the biggest dump of a house tonight. actually we looked at a couple of houses, one of which was stunning and way out of our price range but the realtor guy wanted us to see it (i think he secretly just likes it and goes there whenever he can). anyhoo - the realtor was making comments at the junky house about where exactly he'd position the back hoe thingy when he was tearing it down (you know, so the bucket could just go up and over and come down and crush it to smithereens) and i was stunned almost speechless (oh but not quite!) by the dreadful DREADFUL purple mosaic 70's linoleum in the living room. but it was on the top floor when vernon pointed out the dog poop and i almost touched the underwear hanging over the banister that we realised.........we were in some sort of real estate black hole. that place where the nasty houses that keep getting relisted go. it was a bad bad place. the sad thing is that i didn't make that up thinking it would be funny to read it on here. there really was a little dog turd. and there was laundry hanging over the third floor railing and there really was a pair of gray boxers. that i almost touched. (shortly after arriving in the house i put my mittens back on. just in case i touched....well, anything really).
in the dog's defense i would like to note that the owners left it alone in the house when we were coming over and we basically scared the, well, crap out of it. the owners i don't think were that bright. at all.